[Infectious] Baby Carriers

(Left) Cora sporting Flood Carrier Form costume. / (Right) Screenshot of Flood Carrier Form from Halo 3.

This costume takes all of five seconds. Merely stuff a bunch of… stuffed animals in his/her PJ top and watch them walk towards you, itching to trip, burst, and release those pesky infection forms (which are better off ignored than trying to waste ammo on). What’s this “flood”, you ask yourself somewhere deep in your uninterested subconscious? Holy shit! Have you never played Halo — the video game franchise that sold over 27 million copies worldwide? Still no bells ringing? Well, then a couple facts wouldn’t hurt: Halo 3 sold $170million dollars worth of copies* just in the first 24 hours after release.** (I’m sure you recognised all those blemish-riddled nerds stinking up public transport with the smell of partially-digested Cheetos and Red Bull late in September of 2007. That is, if you aren’t a hermit.) The franchise boasts a hand dipped deep into the the entertainment spectrum, boasting five console games (Halo 1, 2, 3, Wars, ODST, Reach, and i’m sure there will be more), books, movies, animes and the usual fare of toys and collectibles. If you’re still confused I’d suggest moving back to Tibet. I hear they got color TV, now.

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*“Xbox 360 Exclusive Halo 3 Registers Biggest Day in US Entertainment History[…]“, GameSpot, 2007.
**“The $300m space invader” by Laura Parker, The Sydney Morning Herald, 2007.

PIMP v. HOE

As a defining opener for craft singles, this post is given subject by those quintessential half-minute skits (aka interlude aka prelude aka outro aka intro) in almost every rap album worth acquiring.

One particular subset of skits is the recording of voicemail messages left by hoes. Besides the hilarity that unravels in these tracks, (such as the closing on Mobb Deep’s “Let A Ho Be A Ho” from Murda Muzik, 1999) there is physical proof for the legendary, decades long, class case of PIMP v. HOE.

Though this case never went to the supreme court – nor was it discussed at this year’s G20 summit –  it lends oral to the phenomenon of women using celebrity sexual encounters for monetary or pathological trophy. Hence, “trophy bitch” or, less frequently in this specific context, “trophy wife”. There is another, lighter story to this case, however. I believe, first, it is important to ground the intended definition of “pimp” and “hoe” in this context.

Chambers describes pimp as “a man who procures for prostitutes, pander”, and hoe (a derivative of “whore”) as “prostitute, harlot; adulterer”. The modern alternative would be: pimp as a male with substantial monetary funds and genitals equal to those ends, and hoe as the pimp’s object of desire (not as an individual subject). Therefore, these interludes could be the paeans of the man to the promiscuous woman ["willing to give copious amounts of dome"].

Related further listening:
Ludacris’ “Come On Over” from Back for the First Time (2000)
Outkast’s “We Luv Deez Hoez” and “Kim & Cookie” from Stankonia (2000)

Frames

A Few Dollars More (@12mins 53secs)

Bare Behind Bars

Sukiyaki Western Django (@13mins 39secs)